


Under Water, Under Ice

by Adri_K



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23561296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adri_K/pseuds/Adri_K
Summary: Diving to Cignath Mór brings back the memories of the Watcher's near death experience at Cayron's Scar.
Relationships: Aloth Corfiser & Female Watcher, Aloth Corfiser & The Watcher, Aloth Corfiser/The Watcher
Kudos: 20





	Under Water, Under Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning for ptsd.

Gaura entered Cignath Mór hastily, with only a flicker of control she had over her movements. She took off her diving helmet and took a deep breath - louder than she would have liked and the gasp echoing within the roomy chamber only made it worse. The air within the chamber was rancid with the stench of fishes dying in and around the ruin for millennia. Still, it was breathable, and Gaura’s fiery locks quickly reignited after being suppressed by the helmet during her descent.

The Watcher tried to hold on to the sensation of her own flame, the warmth of her own soul. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the diving helmet in her hand. She knew if she looked, that last flicker of control would go out and she couldn’t afford that, not there, not then.

Not ever.

Gaura let the helmet slip from her fingers. A moment later she realized how great a mistake that was as it hit the floor with a loud _clank._ The sharp, metallic noise reverberated from the walls, steadily and overwhelmingly. The Watcher instinctively closed her eyes and tried to block the sound out of her mind. But as it faded, the more distant it sounded. Not just in space, but in time as well.

It was a little over 5 years ago. But at the same time, it was right then and there. Gaura could almost feel the weight of Abydon’s hammer in her hand. She could almost see her fractured reflection looking back at her. The woman in the cracked crystal looked rather grotesque with that strange helmet on, lifting the hammer with determination despite everything that happened, and was about to happen. _Clank._ The hammer struck the crystal. Again and again. Steadily and overwhelmingly. But the blows also slowed with each impact, just as the cavern filled up with water. Soon there was no reflection left on the crystal’s surface. Soon there would be no room. And no air.

‘Watcher?’

A voice forced Gaura’s thoughts to return to her immediate surroundings. She realized she was holding her breath. Xoti was watching her, her dark eyes scouring her face as if she was looking for an injury. 'Are you alright?’ She asked kindly and cautiously.

The Watcher quickly glanced at her companions. She caught a glimpse of an understanding, but still pitying look on Maia’s face, just as she turned away from her, pretending to scout the area. Aloth and Edér shared a knowing glance then turned to her, their eyes full of concern and sympathy.

'Everything’s fine, Xoti,’ Gaura lied. She pointed at a window and the ocean beyond. 'I’m just a little out of my element. The pressure took a toll on me, that’s all,’ she added.

'If it’s all the same to you, Captain,’ Maia joined the priestess, her movements reflected her usual confidence but there was something awkward to them as well, 'Firefly and I can scout ahead. We’ll give you the heads-up in a minute or two.’

The Watcher let out a quiet but bitter sigh. She wanted to avoid this. 'Go ahead. If you find any machinery, don’t touch it before I get to take a look.’

'You got it, Captain. Remind me to buy you a drink when we get back to Sayuka,’ Maia shot a sympathetic half-smile at Gaura, then took Xoti by the shoulder and guided her away.

Gaura watched them leave and as she did so she tried to regain some semblance of control over herself. She was so focused she didn’t feel the fingers brushing against her hand at first. A faint smile spread on the Watcher’s face when she saw Aloth standing beside her.

'You look like you need some fresh air… and peace of mind,’ the warmth of the wizard’s gaze offset the memories that took hold of her so tightly just a moment ago. 'Unfortunately, I can only offer the latter.’

'This is already helping,’ she grasped Aloth’s hand. She pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand and sighed. 'I’m sorry, I didn’t think coming here would do this to me.’

'Hey, no need for that kinda talk,’ Edér gripped the Watcher’s shoulder firmly, but still more carefully than he usually did. 'We all got things to haunt us. Huh. I suppose, you got more than most. In a way.’

'Indeed, you’re carrying a tremendous burden,’ Aloth added. 'I’d be happy to help you carry some of that burden, if I may be as bold as to ask you to share it.’

Gaura didn’t answer. She wanted to take on the offer but words felt as if they got stuck in her throat. She wasn’t even sure how she would explain everything. She glanced at the diving helmet at her feet, trying to force herself to speak.

'Cayron’s Scar,’ Edér said under his breath as he followed the Watcher’s gaze. She nodded even though she knew the words weren’t aimed at anyone. Aloth held her hand a little tighter and for a moment Gaura could’ve sworn she felt a shiver run through him.

The Watcher scoffed. 'It’s laughable. I know. I thought I left this behind but…’

'Well, we ain’t laughin’,’ Edér replied.

'And we never will,’ Aloth added and let out a musing sigh. 'I used to think back then that your sacrifice was admirable. But now I think about what might have happened and I can’t… see anything laughable about it.’

'But I got out fine. I should be fine,’ Gaura argued.

'Doesn’t sound like you did. But it didn’t change you either. That’s what’s important,’ the veteran loosened his grip on her shoulder and pat it instead. He left her side to meet Maia and Xoti coming from the other side of the chamber.

Aloth reached for the Watcher’s face, prompting her to turn to face him. 'When we get back to the Defiant, you can tell me as much or as little as you’d like.’

'I’ll probably just turn into a slobbering mess and I’ll just… weep into your lap until I pass out,’ Gaura chuckled bitterly at herself.

'If that is what you need…’

Gaura didn’t reply. She spent a few moments letting herself get lost in Aloth’s warm gaze before she left a shallow kiss on his lips. She reluctantly let go of his hand and rejoined her companions. She came here to do a job no one else would - or could - try. This is what she always does. In the past and in the present.


End file.
